It occurred to me very clearly the other day that not only has my blog been crucial for my healing...... opening up my computer every morning and pouring my heart out into it.....but it has been crucial to exercise my brain daily, and expend some of the energy found within;-) mental gymnastics! My brain is an active place......in fact I don't remember a time ever that it wasn't.......and truthfully for some years I felt adversarial with my brain....felt it was working against me......a prison of sorts.....because of worry, and overthinking, and what ifs, and all the rest......an active mind is fun, until it turns on ya.....;-) I have always felt thoughtful, and have always wondered about deep stuff, stuff that most of the people I know don't.....pondering it all, paying attention to the nuances and all of the things around me.....but these days my brain has shifted into a different place.....I have learned to harness it, in a real way......so it isn't so much like a runaway train lol:) but more like a wild horse that has learned some manners;-) and now I use that space to think of inspiration.......of evolved thoughts, ones that can move me forward, not cage me......I think of ideas, depth, and healing......no longer a prisoner banging on the bars, wanting to be free of all the depth that once threatened to swallow me whole......and blogging has been a way for me to let go of some of that energy.....first thing in the morning.......release the valve.......and allow for more peace of mind throughout the day.......quite literally.....and for me....... it is as important as exercising my body has become......front loading my day in such a way that allows for the rest.....it is kinda hard to explain my love of language.......I really really like words.....and language........I remember learning to read and thinking it was the most magical thing that had ever happened to me......and then devouring books......just reading and reading and reading.......I couldn't get enough........and being enchanted by the mental adventures I could take........and I guess as I type this now, that was my form of mental gymnastics then......a way to expend the energy up in my brain;-) and now I don't read as much as I wish I would......I am working on changing that......being more intentional.......I tend to get swallowed up in shorter reading and a lot of writing now.....but my blog, without question, has served me in innumerable ways.....ways that humble me.....and ways that fill my cup......and to the people that keep reading........... still........I am eternally grateful to each and every one of you:) thanks for doing gymnastics with me;-)
jperuso
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