LIVING!.........

One of the meanings of alive means to have interest and meaning....and living means the pursuit of a lifestyle of a specified life.....and both feel true for me now in this chapter of my life.....my intent on a regular basis is to create a life that I am crazy about....with effort and intention.....no longer shooting small.....but working toward seizing the days, and make them count.....and the shift has been a big one for me......in my once upon a time life I planned stuff in my/our lives.....but it was sporadic and random.....based on stuff that came up and not with consistency....often spending my energy surviving.....and focusing on the more "normal" parts of living......and much of the time that felt like enough...and it was then.......like I had arrived.....family of four.....home we loved.....and a trip once in awhile....or an activity out and about....and I did my best to provide experiences for us that I thought would be fun.....but many times I found resistance in that and it dimmed my energy toward it all.....sometimes opting to just hang at home because it was easier.....or not try....and the living I am doing now, and the alive feelings I feel now are hard to articulate.....I feel free to make an intention.....or create a bucket list....and start checking it off....and I have written of this before, my feeling so ALIVE.....my body, my mind, my spirit.....feels awake and alive.....no longer on autopilot, asleep at the wheel.....yesterday I seized the opportunity to plan a hike to a spot I have been wanting to visit for quite some time......and the idea came to me as I was typing my blog yesterday morning.....seeing that the weather was going to be lovely, and having a Sunday wide open, ready for the taking.......so I invited my parents......we went to church....came home packed a picnic.....and hit the road.....Hickory Run State Park is an hour and a half away.....and we didn't mind..... it was no big deal.....and we went and had a lovely afternoon.....worth all of it.....and in my old life that all would never have happened....too many challenges in my way to make that work.....spontaneously deciding and otherwise......and I feel such gratitude for the freedom I find in that these days......no planning ahead needed, sometimes just feeling a whim and seizing it......no resistance.....creating an experience for my kids, and a memory filled with joy and ease attached to it......I am planning a mini getaway for us to Niagara Falls the week of the 14th too and am excited to go with them.....I haven't been there since I was 20...... their hotel prices for a couple of nights on the NY side are super reasonable.....so it should be a reasonable little trip.....and I plan on seizing every bit of August before we head back to school and pace shifts some........we will do our September beach day....and have a trip to go back to Watkins Glen with my parents in October.....a long weekend:) In my new life I seek to seize the day as often as I can......whatever that means....sometimes that involves things I do at home....and sometimes out and about.....both are important.....but being intentional about being alive I think is important....it was something I had never considered or wondered about before.....never realizing there was a difference.....and now I do.....I plan on staying alive in the next half of my life! WIDE AWAKE:) Never feeling lulled again.......never:) Have a great week:)