Letting go has been something I have become much more able to do and a lot better at in this chapter......seeking to just accept and let the rest go.....in the places where my sense of control cannot be found.....and yesterday was the first Saturday in well over a year I did not post my video for my business....and it challenged me for a minute....letting go of the routine of it, and the consistency of it....but I found my way to the acceptance of it, knowing next Saturday I will be back at it....and that my body needed rest and relaxation yesterday....I took a whole bunch of vitamins.....drank my special tea....stayed in bed....watched silly TV, and tried to keep my kids separate, in the hopes they will be spared.....my mom dropped off the makings for soup that I wanted to make, and I made a big pot of it.....and the kids helped themselves to whatever, and I just accepted it......let go of not being able to exercise for the last few days.....which I have felt....I think I may try a modified routine today, moving my body some, and then spend the day resting again....I feel much better this morning....I am definitely through the more challenging part, the worst of it....I started with some symptoms Tuesday night during the night, but then they went away during the day Wednesday, and I had a great day, and then Wednesday night I felt it.......and Thursday was the worst of it......driving wasn't so bad on Friday but challenging.....and yesterday was kinda rough......but today I definitely feel better some.....so I am hopeful that in a couple of days I will be feeling much better, and I am hoping it is a good sign that my parents and kids have escaped it so far.......but we all know Covid has a mind of its own....Covid has been such a strange part of my life....in so many ways....and having my ex leave during it was most definitely a challenge.....divorcing during a global pandemic isn't for the faint of heart lol:) But I suppose alongside the rest it was a way for me to let go of fear, and step into faith......being faced with so many things I thought I feared, until I was up against them and well.....they weren't quite as bad as I thought.....and if they were.....the intensity was short lived......or shorter lived.......each time leaving me stronger and less fearful, till fear has essentially vanished in my life.......I had a memory pop up today of my kids, during our Covid days of walking our sneaker tread off.....we walked for miles.....Mads was so little, only 4 and we set goals.....one month walking 75 miles!!.....and it was the beginning of my journey to health and fitness......it felt good to use my lack of control during a raging pandemic, and my ex's affair into something tangible......so we walked......and we had such fun....forming an even stronger bond between the three of us that would sustain us into our next chapter! :)So I am gonna resign myself to a quiet kinda resting day again.......letting go of how I want it to be.....and just feel grateful I am on the mend and my kids are doing fine! Happy Sunday:)
jperuso
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