Landmines............

Navigating what I am is really complicated....tricky in all the trickiest of ways....and along the way I have learned to disconnect from the hurt.....disconnect from what feels like the personal nature of what has happened and realize that much of what has been happening has absolutely nothing to do with me at all....and in that awareness comes a place for me to cruise above it....well at least most of the time;-)......but every once in awhile I step on a landmine.......and it pricks my ego and I am off to the races.....and I get sucked into the explosion......but fortunately these days not for too long! I now find I can vent to somebody.....acknowledge the feeling and what pricked it, and then LET that POISON GO......and in the letting GO is the most glorious FREEDOM......you see I absolutely don't need to participate in every skirmish I am invited to.......I don't have to go to the nonsense party.............I just don't........and it is a powerful feeling......I don't have to participate in things that steal my joy......that deplete my heart........that ruin my energy..........that drag me down in ANY WAY.........because it is a CHOICE.........it is a choice to NOT let my ego win and to think I need to DO SOMETHING.........reality is 95% of the time I DON'T NEED TO DO ANYTHING.........the only thing I NEED to do is remain TRUE to who I AM........who I WANT to be in this story.......what words I am leaving on the pages of our story of the end.......and I have POWER IN THAT! I get to decide what role I play....what actions I choose....and what character I play in this story........and if I always check myself.......leaving my ego behind........I will always be able to choose the HIGH ROAD........always.......I will always be able to try and be my best self in this......and choose my actions and words carefully......I can truthfully say that I have only one or two moments that I regret as I have traveled this journey and it isn't real regret...........not deep regret........... it is just a feeling that maybe that wasn't my highest self choosing that action.......it was more my human side choosing it lol :) but there is NOTHING I am ASHAMED of........and in the spirit of that.....it keeps me committed to watching for those landmines......not allowing myself to get blown to bits.......to lose ANY MORE pieces of me in the explosion.......to stand tall and strong and let the feelings come.......choose to be quiet.....choose to not react.....choose to let the chaos settle around me, step over it, and then MOVE ON.........getting caught in the landmine and letting it blow me to bits doesn't serve the greater good I am striving for......it doesn't serve me AT ALL.......In the beginning I felt I was stepping in landmines left and right and needing to navigate them all the time.....but as I have learned along the way I have become better at spotting them up ahead and walking around them........just right around them.........