Sometimes you truly need to just embrace what is......like wrap your arms around it and give it a great BIG hug;-) Mads took a turn for the worst over the weekend and started running a fever.....Gabe is complaining of not feeling well this morning and well.....sigh......I am taking off and we are off to the doctor......I am grateful my parents will be around to stay with them as the week unfolds, because I am not sure how many days they will be down.....but my sick time is tapped, and I am into personal time now that won't last long......but here is the thing.....there is nothing to be done about it.....I am the mom- and now the single one......so I am the one that needs to be here, no matter the cost......and I will......I am grateful I can be with them......and again this year and these germs, my goodness I am so over it......I truly cannot believe it......I can only hope we are getting our sickness out of the way to have smooth sailing into Christmas:) Because our Christmases have been problematic the last two years......but truth is if that isn't the case, I need to surrender that too.....just surrender and breathe on repeat.......and it has been maybe the greatest lesson in all of this for me......back at the end of my marriage I believed with much more certainty that we are in charge of our lives and if we just try hard enough.........well..........I no longer believe that......I believe in trying......I believe in showing up for ourselves......showing up for others.....being our best selves......giving it our all......all of that and more.......but I also believe that ultimately we have little control about our life circumstances.....we have more control over OUR experience within that experience if that makes sense???? Like the circumstances that come might not be within our control......but how we respond and therefore how we feel in our day to day is up to us......and of course to some degree what we attract or manifest into our lives based on our actions and thoughts and all of it........and obviously I do not have it all figured out;-) far from it......and maybe it will take all my life to sort of understand it all.....but I do feel I am beginning to understand all the working pieces that become the fabric of a person's life.......and what I do understand with certainty is that mindset is the biggest piece of it......and if you can harness the power of your mind, no matter what comes.......then well you are almost there........winning in your day to day......so today I surrender......I breathe........I accept......and I hope......and pray......that my kiddos are feeling better soon and that their mama stays well too;-)
jperuso
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