Juggling.......

I have written about my ability to juggle......it has always been a thing....I can keep lots of balls bouncing above my head for as long as I need to......my time management and multi tasking ability is legit........but sometimes it gets tiring.....to juggle all of it alone.....this week I am feeling it.....I thought when school ended I may feel some relief.......and I suppose I did on my end......but the kids have still been in school and each day has been busy.....and as we prepare to leave for vacation on Sunday......I am feeling like my juggling skills are being pressed to the max, as we wrap up all the loose ends, and I try and pack us all and get us ready to leave......and the truth is inside my marriage I was the main juggler too.....many more tasks fell on me.......so I would still likely be feeling this way.....and it is for a good reason, I mean vacation right! We haven't been on a real vacation since well before Covid.....so that is so exciting and such a blessing......I am just acknowledging I suppose the challenge that has found me in the juggling of it all this week.....and really maybe most every day it is the same......running a household as a single parent is a challenge....there is nobody to default to......it all falls on you.....and there is so much to keep up on......endlessly and normally I feel really up to it......and it doesn't feel heavy.....it is just my life......but this week there must be some cosmic planetary energy out there in the atmosphere that is causing it to feel heavier than normal? So when it feels this way, I know my only power is to be in the day......the one in front of me.....trusting if I manage all the tasks and lay them out well, it will all get done when it is supposed to! So today my docket is full.....but full of light and wonderful things to do alongside vacay prep! I am blessed no doubt.......blessed to be able minded and bodied to do all the things I need to......blessed to have a family to go on vacation with and to be going at all! We are headed to Tennessee with my mom and dad, my brothers, and their wives and family! It will be a fun week, I am excited to blog our way through it too.....sharing some exciting adventures! Sometimes though I think, I am not sure what I would do if somebody came into my life that could truly help me juggle.......somebody I could trust fully with keeping some of the balls up......I wonder sometimes if that would feel like relief to me.....have been doing it as long as I can remember......would I feel relieved to pass over some of those balls and have somebody juggle alongside of me? I totally trust myself.....which helps......... but it is a nice thought when I see couples that juggle well.....I marvel at what that would be like........and I suppose we did to some degree.......but not to the extent that it needed to be for me to feel relief.........or to feel a true sense of partnership.......maybe one day I will......as for today I will live in today......accomplish what I have laid out before me.......stay present in it all.....and mindful......and trust.......trust it will all come together in time......that I can manage it all......that we will be ready to rock and roll when we leave Sunday.......and that a great adventure awaits us next week! :)