I have learned as I travel this road.....that true happiness is in enjoying the path you are traveling, not where you are traveling to......happiness is not a destination.....I mean I do have goals up ahead, that I know with all my heart, will bring me such fulfillment and joy when I get there....but then I will be journeying past that place to the next part that lights me up.....so in focusing just on the end and not the space between is not wise.....even though it is hard sometimes.....we think if we could just this....or just that.....or when this.....or when that.....when really it is right now......and meditating has helped me get more mindful.....and conscious of living in the space of now.....not ahead......and that really helps to enjoy the ride.....not a dress rehearsal......this is it......life spinning each and every day......and I am learning to live and let go.....not think too much about too much.....a habit that I come by honestly....... and has been a part of me forever......my brain loves all things information and thinking.....and I think in this process I have learned to get out of my head some more.....into my body.....or into my spirit......and let that lead me......not getting pulled down by the things around me......whenever I am able......but in "thinking" of that it got me to wondering about what it would mean for me to maybe think a little less.....be more spontaneous in my life....not so careful......and it was interesting to think of.......I tend to see the whole picture of life.....like from an aerial map.......or like riding in a plane above and seeing the moving pieces all together.....the ones behind and the ones ahead.....a true global thinker...it is the way I have always been able to view the world......so in seeing potential pitfalls when I do, from the plane, it often stops me in my tracks.....bringing an element of caution to the table...I am not impulsive......careless....reckless......I don't give into myself.....looking for instant gratification......I have very rarely regretted a thing in my life for those reasons.....or anything at all......so it serves me well......practicing the pause.......the pause before the things......but sometimes I guess I yearn for some more freedom........freedom to get swept up in something that maybe isn't so well thought out......following my heart not my head......and maybe part of the path I walk will involve exploring other parts of me.....and learning to let go to even more of the beliefs I hold around things......I have been challenging all of my beliefs about the world......especially any that limit me......and not carrying old beliefs into my new life whenever I can help it......however you have to always be true to you too.....my therapist says that a lot......that you have to show up in life as you are .......doing things that are true to who you are.....not second guessing something because you think you should do something different......just making decisions from who you are.......so I feel like as long as I always show up as me......authentic and true......that every moment ahead will unfold exactly as it should.......each and every day........:)
jperuso
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