When we were kids we would use the term jinxed to express anything we felt carried bad luck.....and I am beginning to feel that way about my favorite holiday.....and it is kind of crazy to think of.......it has not been the same for so many years......and I miss it.....Covid took hold and altered it three years ago......and then two years ago the kids and I were in quarantine because my ex had been exposed at work to Covid..... the kids and I spent Christmas and New Years on our own.......then last year we actually had Covid, Gabe and I and poor Mads had to be in solitary confinement along with us even though she did not have it.....and it was the entirety of Christmas and New Years.....so this year I was looking forward to having some normalcy.....and I think Mads is getting sick AGAIN.......they just had the flu and had a healthy couple a weeks and now she is congested and was not feeling well again in the night:(......and I am thinking this morning like really??? This school year is not for the faint of heart, holy moly........ So obviously I do not want to go too far in the rabbit hole of speculation.......maybe a cold, maybe whatever, but it just feels :( like Christmas as a new vibe attached to it, and it is destined to be this way.......and it feels challenging this morning......I am giving myself the space of my blog, and this moment to feel the disappointment, and the ick, and the feels that come with the potential of ANOTHER problematic Christmas and Christmas break......we had some cool things planned this upcoming week too.....so I am going to sit with my feelings of disbelief........and let them roll over me......and then rally and shift into hope......and faith that it will all work out as it should......that perhaps what she is coming down with is no big deal, and our plans this weekend and week can commence.....and we won't be alone for Christmas for the third year in a row.......and I do trust the lessons that come in these challenges, understanding they are a larger part of a cosmic dance that takes place in the cosmos......and in our own individual cosmos........and that according to my chart the planetary funk that has been following me for a few years and presenting hardcore lessons........begins to move out and lessen in the New year.......and that the end of January could find me with a much lighter load......and I am trusting that......and hoping for all of that and more.......there have been many heavy things happening in my life on repeat for MONTHS....and I am a little road weary this morning and looking forward to the break, whatever it looks like to nourish myself.......hoping to get into the woods with my kids.......and recharge and gear up for goals for the New year and some kinder planetary juju to come into my chart in the New Year and bring some much needed levity! However whatever comes I trust it is for me......and my greater good and growth, every single day.........even the frustrating and icky stuff........especially that stuff........
jperuso
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