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jperuso

In acceptance there is peace.........

This simple yet powerful saying has always resonated deeply in my soul......I feel like it is along the same lines as faith.......it is accepting what is part of YOUR journey.....the things that come to find us that we did not choose.....that we did not create......or even if we did and we just didn't see the unintended consequence up ahead........ and we find ourselves somewhere we would not have chosen , or don't necessarily want to be......the DECISION to accept "what is" is a game changer.....I am trying to remember the first time I felt it so deeply, and I think Gabe perhaps was the teacher of this lesson.......having Gabe required lots of acceptance, and standing in lots of uncomfortable spots in those early days, and trying to not "fight" it all.....I fought for a bit through that, thinking that putting up my dukes was somehow going to change it, help it, transform it........ like "fighting" would change the experience, or lessen his challenges in his journey.....but you see fighting never changes anything.....all it does is change the experience YOU have in YOUR journey.....making it darker, bleaker, more challenging than it needs to be.....when you let go and stop fighting "what is" accepting it ALL........THE GOOD, THE BAD, and THE UGLY......it becomes a totally different experience.....takes some of your power back....makes it more palatable......makes it feel more as if it is a PART OF YOU as opposed to something that is happening TO YOU.......it is a powerful way to change your experience....if I had fought the experience I am currently having.....railed against it.....tried to fight it in any way......my experience to this point would have been much more unpleasant than it already has been.........it would have complicated my experience, my healing, all of it..... another quote along these lines that resonates deep in my soul is this "In the end the only three things that matter; how much you loved, how gently you lived, and how gracefully you let go of things that were not meant for you," true story.......that is all there is........simple but beautiful.........I am committed to gracefully letting go of my marriage, despite how precious it was to me, despite how excruciatingly painful it is to do so, despite how painful it is to my children, despite how deeply it has hurt my soul.......despite all of it......it is clearly no longer mine.......no longer a thing I should be holding onto........and in that acceptance there most certainly is peace.......more and more each day..........

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