I have touched on this before as it has come......but it needs to be examined again as it is wildly confusing to me, in nearly every single way......and that I need to face it pretty regularly in my day to day.......I have been so blessed since he has been gone, blessed in the endless people that have come and found their way into my life......people I barely know cheering me on......my friends and family standing by my side.....meeting new people that totally get it right out the gates;-). But I have a few haters out there that I must encounter on a regular basis.....at least ones I know about, and I am guessing there are some undercover too.....and it makes me marvel at the why??? Like how does my fighting each and every day to live my life the way I wish, make you upset or angry with me? Why does my joy and happiness......my newfound peace......my willingness to be honest......poke you? What is it inside of people that causes this phenomenon.......it isn't rare.....it happens all the time.....and I just don't get it.....as I have said so much....... people are totally allowed to disagree with how I have chosen to walk my journey.....for whatever reasons they deem valid......they can feel it wouldn't have been for them.....they wouldn't have walked the the way I have......and that truly is fine by me.....it is my journey.....I make no apologies for what I have done......or the decisions I have made to allow myself to be free and healing each and every day.......but beyond their opinion of me I do not understand the anger......I am staying in my own lane......doing my own thing......and maybe my walk reminds them or brings to light things that they don't want to see.....or be reminded of.....or take a look at.......and the ones that are hating up front are people that are not all that happy overall.....so maybe my life, and targeting it, creates the diversion they need to feel better......sad but true.......but does throwing daggers at somebody ever really help? It just doesn't......there is nothing I can say......no level of truth that they would hear anyway.....they have made up their mind......spun some false narrative.....and it is OK......I am lucky to be a big girl in this chapter of my life......where I hold onto who I have become unapologetically......and don't let the opinions of others sway me from my path.....I am confident in what I need to do to move forward in my life.....and I know that the people that are meant to stay.....the ones that are meant to get it.....will......... and well the others......they will fall away.....no longer meant to be a part of me experience here.....and the couple that I need to face on a regular basis allows me the chance to test that......to stand in my power and my confidence and not let anybody affect that......even though it feels like the high school cafeteria sometimes;-) except now I am not subject to teenage insecurity and angst.....I don't let it get in at all.....it just doesn't matter all that much......it is not a place to focus my energy......lots of better places.....I choose to focus on the folks that message me about my journey or blog pretty regularly......or the ones I see in the store that say I read your blog every day, I love it.....or your posts are so inspiring, I love them........like wow.....what a compliment and how humbling......so if there are people that want to throw daggers and hate on me because of the choices I have made to feel better and heal after my entire world fell apart.....so be it.....what they think of me is none of my business.......it really isn't.......what I know of myself is.......
jperuso
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