I was you girl......

The work I do with women is so rewarding.....it really is.....especially when I can pay forward the gifts I was given through my divorce and the end of my marriage....I had a great support system, a few angels that will forever stand out in my mind......lights in the darkness that threatened to swallow me whole.....and so when anybody reaches out I will do my best to offer support any way I can.....and a woman reached out the other day....and she shared the struggle that has taken over her life.....and in listening to it, I was her.......I can totally relate to the challenges she is facing and the fight she is fighting.....all of it....and I see it so clearly.....hindsight being 20/20.....but knowing when you are in it it is nearly impossible to see it clearly......especially when you put laser focus on saving your marriage.....when maybe it is time to end it......but here is the thing I have learned.....we cannot impart our stuff onto others.....we can share our perspective, our life experience, our support and advice.....but ultimately it is fully up to a person to decide what they do with their life....and for me when my ex left, it was the perfect timing to catapult my life in the direction it went.....if I had thrown him out when I first found out about his affair, and did not spend all of the time I did trying to save our marriage I might have always wondered......wondered what would have happened if I had tried harder......the fight I was in was killing me slowly, and destroying me, but it was a fight I don't regret most days.....because marriage meant so much to me....and my little family was everything........and knowing that I did my part to save it is what helps me rest easy......and helps me face my kids and tell them I tried......so when I see another woman doing the same, I cannot fault her.....we all need to do what we can to live with our stories, and the unfolding of them....my heart goes out to this woman in ways that are hard to articulate....she is in a tough spot with a mountain to climb......and it will be up to her to decide the life she wants for herself and her children......our stories are our own.....ultimately we get to decide how we write them.....I will continue to offer support to her as she finds her way...What I see so clearly though in the lives around me is that what is meant for us cannot be avoided.....and what is meant to leave always will....we will never be able to keep anything that is not meant for us.....I believe that so deeply....as well as not being able to avoid a part of our journey....despite our best efforts......so it frees us to not mess it up....and our actions may delay the inevitable.....but the inevitable will arrive no matter what.....of that I am certain....so it continues to be my honor to help women in the struggles they face....doing whatever I can.....and I know this woman will find her way.....in her own way and in her own time......and she will realize her worth and what she deserves, just like I did.....and in the meantime I will offer space for her to do just that.......