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jperuso

I STILL feel it.......

Yesterday was my first day of school and teaching for this year......and teaching still feels like a part of me despite my other ventures......I have known I have wanted to be a teacher since I was a little girl......I played school endlessly as a kid......I loved school, learning.....the smell of crayons, and the feel of chalk.....all of it......I also had a lending library created in my basement.....a lovely librarian had given me a date stamper one time......a treasure indeed:) And I went to town.....and I had started my masters in library science but never finished due to having Gabe, and the circumstances that followed.....but that too could have been a path for me......however as I say often I trust in what was meant to be.....and the way it unfolded was for the best indeed......being a classroom teacher still "does it" for me.....I still have moments when I am teaching where that little voice whispers to me, and says this is your calling, this is what you are supposed to do.....just like I now feel with coaching too......so for now it is both:) And as long as it sustains me, and feels like me it will remain.....I am so grateful for the stability found there and being able to financially provide for my children and myself, while doing something that I love, and something that makes a difference.......it all lights me up.......and I am already charmed by some of the interactions I have had with them, and am curious for what the year will hold.....there are a lot of new things we are doing within the school, curriculum wise so that will be the challenge....to get that up and running and a new math series....but in terms of working with children and doing my thing, that all feels so comfortable....a bunch of students from last year came to say hi to me before they headed down the hall to 5th grade, and it touched my heart, and a few of my new 4th graders said they had heard I am kind from some of my former students.....and well that is the goal right. To leave an impression that is positive.....and the impression we leave.....how we make others feel speaks a lot about us......but recently I am finding that it isn't quite as simple as that.....sometimes how we make others feel is a product of their internal stuff too.....and there isn't anything we can do to combat that....except attempt to keep showing up in the ways we feel serve the best interest of everyone....so as I sit here in the early hours again.....myself, and my soft white lights on my mantle, sipping my coffee.......I feel excited and hopeful for day two! Make it a good one everybody:)

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