I wrote a little bit back about what we summon in our people. It is something I think about and comes up often.....how the people in our lives "make" us feel......when in actually nobody can really "make you feel" any way......it is a choice to take on their stuff and make it your own....however it is not always easy to stay out of it......especially in our closest relationships.......and when I think back to my marriage, I marvel at how easy it is to SEE ourselves mirrored in the eyes of those that love us......and if the reflection is a wonderful one, we get to step forward and be our best selves.......believing what it is we are seeing......but if it isn't it causes us to see ourselves that way too......I remember when he began his affair my reflection in his eyes diminished......I started to sense that he believed things about me or saw me in a way that wasn't me.....but at a certain point as you feel it enough, or catch the subliminal messages they get in there and become a part of you........you begin to step forward in the role and the dance you play with another person.......becoming who THEY think you are.......not remaining true to yourself.......and WHO YOU ARE.........so maybe that has been one of the biggest lessons for me this year.......remembering who I REALLY am.....and realizing that when he left I was able to shed those things he had created.......just a figment of both of our imaginations......created out of darkness......not real, not authentic, not loving......not any of it.......just self fulfilling nonsense..........to justify horrid behavior......nothing more or less.........but when we interact with those people in our lives we can still find ourselves sliding, stepping into the roles created for us by others.....laying down our authenticity and who we are, to do an old dance.........and it is so hard not to fall into that.......so I guess the only way to break those patterns.....the ones that don't serve us......the ones that don't really feel like the us of today......is to remain conscious.......and that feels like the theme these days.......being present.......in the here and now.....not too far ahead, or back......just present.....I am practicing in meditation how to get better at that......at accepting what comes.......instead of spending time overthinking......or resisting......and it is helping so much........in my class for life coaching we talked a lot last week about remaining present with a client.......hearing them......staying in the moment with them......letting silence hang some if they are coming to some large realization of their own......also musing at how we all hate silence on the phone or in person.......thinking we need to fill it.......when we don't........and how as a life coach you have to learn to embrace the silence......I am so excited about exploring these new parts of me and growing and expanding into places I have never been.......I feel like every day we have the choice to grow or remain stuck in old patterns.......we have the choice to heal or hurt the people around us by our actions........or lack of actions......but most of all we have the choice to remain true to our authentic selves no matter what anybody in our life does or doesn't......and remembering it is a choice is where the power lies:)
jperuso
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