Somewhere early on in this journey I adopted this mantra and it has become a part of me. Like gratitude is........and it may seem silly to say it........like it doesn't really matter but there have been many times when I have been in the thick of something and whispered it to myself, and it immediately serves as a way for me to summon my bravery and my will to get whatever is in front of me done.......even if I don't want to.......even if I am afraid......even if I have doubts.....I CAN DO HARD things......ALL day long.....and will continue to do just that......and by saying it over and over I have come to believe it.......our minds are so powerful.....if only people truly realized......the narrative you feed it is the reality in which you live........no question.......I think I always knew the power we had in our minds and how that manifests in our lives......but for the first time in my life....through this experience.......I am understanding what that really means.....and am careful of what I allow myself to think and say both outwardly and internally..........our internal dialogue is powerful......and if I start to wander inside and not say life building things to myself I try and catch myself......so many sweet people have acknowledged and supported my "I can do hard things" mantra and life.......and it has been so sweet........divorce is SO hard.....especially with extra painful circumstances.....and it requires a level of grit and bravery that we are not asked to summon often in our lives.......it is more an emotional bravery than anything.......like 90 percent emotional bravery.....to stand in really painful spots and live to see the other side despite wondering if you will.......the other 10 percent is the new physical things it asks of you.......to compensate for your missing partner.....for me it is all the "guy stuff"......for men I suppose if it is what their wives did......you now become a party of one doing the job of two.......and learning the guy stuff is wildly gratifying and exhilarating........but sometimes terrifying......my riding mower is still plaguing me and scaring the crap out of me.......lol:) and I keep getting back on and think maybe today will be the day I conquer it......maybe today is the day when I won't be afraid I will tip over.......or not be able to do it just right.....maybe today is the day.........so because I can do hard things......and believe it........I climb on that thing.......pull the choke......turn the key and try again.........with the knowledge that one of these days I will conquer that too.......until the next hard thing presents itself for me to do.........and if you aren't a little afraid and maybe a lot uncomfortable are you really living anyway????;-)
jperuso
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