As I type this my life is the most uncomfortable place I have ever been......like ever.........there is nothing comfortable about getting a divorce, nothing......it becomes even worse when you are forced to survive it by having to surrender your true nature.........so you can do just that........survive......add the global pandemic on top of it and teaching during the pandemic and yeah I am pretty much standing on the outer rim of hell.......;-) like some days it feels that way............I swim in the discomfort from the moment I open my eyes..... till I close them......I am faced with impossible decisions daily and just one insult to injury after another......however the world is often not one thing or the other........I am always fascinated by that duality........and this situation is no exception...............the flip side is that on the other side of that extreme discomfort has been an opportunity to push myself harder than I ever had to find things that bring me some solace amid the storm....... and through that quest I have found some amazing treasures.......I wake up at four am these days.......I creep downstairs and drink coffee in the silence.......my lights on my mantle glowing in the early morning.....I either listen to music, meditate some, blog, talk to my cousin who has been my rock.........and my blog sounding board;-) and I just enjoy the peace........I have music going almost constantly, it brings me such peace and solace, have always loved it but boy it is like magic right now.........haven't watched any TV, haven't binged a thing......I come home and I spend time with my kids, loving on them.....then they Facetime and I run, listen to music, blog again if the mood hits, or read.......another treasured time of day......I flipped the most painful time of day into a treasured time for me........watch me go..........See if you don't get REALLY UNCOMFORTABLE in your life you don't change......you don't move.......you just keep on keeping on........discomfort forces you to MOVE........I never would have ended my marriage........I am pretty sure of that........because I BELIEVED, but you know what......God had other plans.......he MOVED ME.......................I talked to somebody that said she was plucked from her marriage and felt like God plucked her......she had a similar story.......and yeah I definitely feel like the universe and God said it is time Jenn, it is just time..........so the DISCOMFORT I am wrestling with at the moment, will lead to a COMFORT I have only imagined.........and I can't wait..........I feel it.........I am on my way.......
jperuso
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