Judgement is easy right? It is easy to think we know better than another person.....or that if we were in a situation we would do it differently....but judgement lacks real insight on most occasions.......because truth is we don't know until we know......last night at the fireworks extravaganza, and it was most definitely an extravaganza........I got to offer the peace that comes from not being judged, to another woman.......I had met her awhile ago.....on FB, somebody had passed her name to me and told me her husband had just been caught cheating.....and she had two little ones at home......she was obviously devastated....and not knowing what to do......she had since sort of dropped into the background and I saw her posting some pictures of them together again......so I assumed she was giving it a go with him......and I was silently wishing them the best......so when I saw her last night she said sweet things to me......about how inspirational she thought I was, and how she follows my stuff on FB........I thanked her and asked her how things are going......and she bowed her head and said she is giving him a second chance......and the shame she was feeling about that was palpable......and I told her I totally get that......that I had done the same.....and that there is nothing wrong with doing that......especially if she is following her heart.....and you could instantly see the relief flood over her......I think she had been feeling so guilty about giving him another chance, she said people were judging her.....etc.....and I looked her in her eyes and said people are always going to judge you......but this is your life......you need to do what is best for you, and what you want to do, and not worry about the rest.....I also told her I don't regret giving the chances I did, because it allows me to rest easy knowing I tried everything that I could to save my marriage.......and I live free of that burden.......not wondering what if......she was visibly relieved and it felt good to offer that to another person.......and I am rooting for her, just like I am for a couple of other women who are giving it a second chance......I believe in redemption......I still do, despite what happened in my story......I did also tell her that the other alternative, the one I am living is OK too......and to follow what makes her feel healthy and happy for her kids.....whatever that is........and then there were the fireworks!!! I haven't seen fireworks in YEARS.......Like I cannot even remember......and it is also a representation of my new life......he didn't love fireworks......and when Gabe was small he didn't like loud noises......so it just became something we didn't do.....and each 4th I would feel guilty and sad that my kids were not seeing fireworks......it just seemed like too much effort then.......and those days are gone now......we saw a helluva a show last night:)......some of the best fireworks I have ever seen......I feel grateful this morning that I crossed paths with that woman and connected in real life......hopefully sharing some peace with her......and that we got to see that show! Life is good indeed:)
jperuso
留言