My life has been a journey of faith........learning to have faith, being one of those themes I always speak of......and I started off long ago so scared......nervous.....a worrier......a what if thinker.....my mind spinning tales, or scenarios that never came to pass......and spending lots of time hanging on......fiercely trying to control the things around me.......and there are lots of reasons that was the case, but that isn't really the point.....because part of it is just who we are too.....my mind always being overactive, and needing ways to be utilized to combat that......as a kid I read, voraciously......just consumed books.....and have at certain points throughout my life......seeking to step into a book and escape into another character's life......and take a break from the chatter......but through each trial in my life, in my 20s, and 30s, and now in my 40s......the nervousness....the worry, the chatter, got replaced some by a deep knowing and a deep faith......and today finds me no longer subject to anxiety or worry, or I should say pretty rarely.......however the last couple of months have threatened to rattle my cage some, and defaulting to that deep knowing has kept me on track....my faith being my north star......because I truly am convinced that our journeys are divinely planned.....I also believe we have free will....and perhaps that will can take us on detours.....or change the path toward something......or throw us off track temporarily......but if something is MEANT for US.....I truly believe it cannot be avoided.....and if it isn't meant for us anymore or at all it won't be......my marriage taught me that......and a special friendship I have had in the aftermath......if any amount of earthly will and effort could have made my marriage work, well it would have......but it was time for his soul to link up to another and walk on a different path......there is not a doubt in my mind......and my life was meant to move and evolve in the ways it did too.....and so each day......each moment......each chance encounter.......is never a chance....it reminds me of Zelda....that was a fun game right way back when? And you were given the tools to complete your quest......and that is kinda how I feel about life.....we evolve or change into the versions of us that need to live each chapter.....and I sometimes think of life very much like a book.....although some days it feels as if I lived different books lol:) But all of them.....every minute......every interaction......every road I have traveled.....or mountain I have climbed......has led me right here.....right here.....equipped to live in this chapter too.....and yesterday was a great day....I was in the zone in teaching.....loving that feeling.....the one that lights me up and touches my soul....and the reason......and my heart felt lighter......and I needed it....a boost to my spirit....and to be reminded of my deep faith and the fact that while I don't always like what comes.....or what I must endure.....it is for the greater good.....and for my greater good....and that is the beauty of our lives, and how we experience the universal magic......I believe it is for each of us to interpret.....and feel....and what makes sense to us.....and in the last 3.5 years I believe I have been shown so much......and each piece brings more peace.....Today is my last day of work for the week, and it has been a great week! And I am reminded that blessings abound amid the rest:)
jperuso
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