I wrote about the blessing that I was given this holiday season in being adopted by a Secret Santa group a few blogs ago.....and I met one of them last night to pick up the things they got for my kids......she will remain anonymous to me, that is part of their magic, so I do not know her full name just a first name....it was really humbling to accept it all......REALLY.......very emotional and made me cry when I thanked her........I gave her a thank you card that I had written out attempting to convey my gratitude properly......I texted her again last night thanking her, and she said that my card touched her heart and made her cry, and it was what she had needed as well......so we offered a beautiful human exchange for one another.....right when we both needed it.....divinely orchestrated, like a beautiful piece of music in a symphony..........and this walk I began two years ago after the worst night of my life, has been divinely blessed.....no question........with breadcrumbs of blessings, both large and small along the way.....I feel my life has always been like that, but that has definitely increased during the last two years......all of it made me remember, and brought me back to another humbling time in my life.....my ex had been diagnosed with cancer when Gabe was small, and he was out of work, and not getting paid.....and we were so blessed to receive so much help from family and friends during that time..... and I remember I was sitting in my classroom one day.......fretting about buying food and diapers for Gabe.....not wanting to have to ask anybody for money.......and the door to my classroom opened......and some of my teacher friends entered, carrying a basket.....and in the basket was nearly 1,000 of gift cards and cash.......the entire building had chipped in to make all of that happen......and in that moment tears overcame me, and gratitude, and enormous relief.......a heavy burden removed from my shoulders........and it was another magnificent blessing in my life......one that was timely and needed.......and appreciated, and made an enormous impact on my life......one I have never have forgotten........and it isn't always easy to accept.....to put aside our pride.......I have not loved the position this situation has put me in......relying more on the support of my parents than I would like.....and help from others.......and needing the help to make it all work......asking for help is hard for me......and I prefer to go it alone......but all of it has been humbling.....and perhaps what I needed......to learn to be more vulnerable......more willing to accept help......or ask for help when I need it.......finding more balance in that space........so I am working on it;-) and in the meantime, till I get it right, I am sitting here this morning, with lovely Christmas gifts for my kids in my basement, waiting to delight my children on Christmas morning, with so much gratitude and love in my heart! Angels walk among us indeed:) Of that I am certain:)
jperuso
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