This is something I have thought of A LOT.......healing is such a complicated thing.....it is layered, and continuous, and it ebbs and flows......and it disappears, and then there it is......it is not a linear process.......I know there will not be a day that I will wake up and say "Oh I am fully healed"........from all that has come to find me in this life......I know that.....but I know coming close is possible.....and that the active participation in the process of healing is worthwhile.....I am sure, and have heard subtle remarks before from folks, or felt stuff.....not often.....but they are out there....thinking that since I still talk about what happened to me.....ever.....that it is from a place of dwelling, or living in the past.....and that could not be further from the truth.....and when it is implied or I catch their vibe from a reaction.....I know it is because they don't understand, or more often haven't made their own healing a priority.....I make no apologies, and continue to not make any, about any of the choices I have made on this journey....every word, action, step......all of it has led me right here.....feeling happiness and peace in my soul....and living a life I love......one I feel so grateful to have......and NONE of that would be mine, if I had kept my mouth shut, stifling my story, and pretending I was fine when I wasn't......or just shoved it all away......that path leads to illness, and all sorts of things.......the doctor that was here Saturday that I was talking about said as much......in her years of practicing medicine.....watching patients who get divorced, or go through loss, or some other huge life event.......get cancer or really sick a few years later.........unresolved grief and sadness......manifesting in their health.....and I truly believe that.....and I say this again, and will over and over......I do not have this healing thing figured out......not at all....but I have a willingness to actively pursue my own healing, intentionally and consistently....... and use any and all avenues to do so.......and help others do the same......My healing has arrived through therapy.....intensive and consistent the first couple of years......it comes from this blog....and using my voice to speak what is inside of me.......it comes from spending time in nature......meditation.....and exercising......it comes from speaking the truth to people when my story comes up....and if a pain point is poked, saying it out loud......it comes from writing and speaking my story professionally now.....and it comes by way of every single woman I have helped to not feel alone in her story......my saying me too......I SEE YOU........I HEAR YOU........I GET YOU......and we need to be better as a society in allowing people space to feel comfortable healing and sharing their feelings....we want everybody to get over stuff and move on and be quiet about how they feel.....and that just isn't healthy......it just isn't........so I stand comfortably in my healing space.....not dwelling for one minute.......dwelling would not allow for this bold, beautiful, and blessed life I get to live now:) So speak your truth y'all, even if your voice shakes......especially then:)
jperuso
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