So I have sort of been feeling like I have been in a David and Goliath sort of place the last few weeks....like really up against an enormous opponent..........and then comes the blizzard and my mental battle has quickly become a physical one......a really physical one........a blizzard coming a few weeks after your husband leaves you is wildly inconvenient....like wildly....;-) Even with the precious gift of having a snowblower........I haven't seen a snowstorm like this in a LONG time........since my husband left we have had no heat, a messed up toilet, and a few other minor house stuff that has required me to challenge my skill set a bit.......Now I know I have friends and family that are a phone call away to help me.....we would never be snowed in permanently, or stuck about anything, but you know what that wasn't the vibe I was seeking.....I am determined to remove the snow myself as much as I can, to RELY on ME........nobody needs to come rescue us.......there is something that happens to you when you split from your life partner and you are faced with the reality that whatever goes on moving forward, it is up to YOU.......it is startling, jolting .....but better yet it is EXHILARATING.......I thought I was living before, challenging myself, growing, finding what I was made of.....and I definitely was...........but NOW forget it.........I am in touch with a part of my spirit that I only dreamed of and she is COMMITTED to this journey......to do ALL the HARD things she needs to, face ALL THE FEAR she has to, be as UNCOMFORTABLE as she needs to be to see it through........She is also COMMITTED to showing her kids that they are SAFE in the world with her driving the bus.......that she can handle anything that comes.....even a blizzard that dumps snow on everything for days..........and keeps coming and coming.....no rest, no easing up......that challenges all her strength.......yeah even then........because every day since he has left has been like that........challenging me......requiring more and more of me.........and each day I start with a renewed strength and faith to begin again........Goliath is a worthy opponent.......no question about it......however David has some strength too, and a plan.... you ain't seen nothing yet.....
jperuso
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