What does it mean to be free?? Have you thought about it before? Have you thought about what freedom is in a real sense??........wondered if you are free in your own life?? It was a question I never pondered much.....I guess not really wanting to be free, not needing to be free.......or maybe just accepting that my life wasn't one about freedom in my once upon a time life...... I never felt free then.....felt very much attached to the life I was living....and that was what that season was, and totally fine with me......
but to be........Free means- not under the control or in the power of another; able to act or be done as one wishes. I would go a step further and say to not be tethered by any situation, person, or circumstance that keeps us stuck........
And I have been free in nearly every sense since the end of my marriage, but there was another tether in my life.....a situation that was keeping me stuck some.....feeling held fast some.......and not quite allowing my wings to stretch to their full wingspan......keeping my life and my circumstance under its power.....and I have very recently, finally, turned around and cut the tether, and severed it......allowing that true freedom to take hold.....and there is nothing quite like the feel of it......like soaring above the ocean in the sunshine.......like a bird........there was a moment during my divorce I will remember all of my life.....and that was the way I felt after my divorce was finalized, and the exhilaration of truly being FREE, in the legal sense, and beyond......and I sorta feel like that with this other situation that was keeping me stuck.....in ways I don't want to admit or own.....a situation that was challenging my willingness to be the new Jenn.....to own her.....to stick up for her......to be true to her......and in ways that kept me from growing in the ways that I needed to......and it was just a circumstance that sorta took on a life of its own........so as I said yesterday....... with clarity finally showing up, arriving to help me unstuck myself........I am committed to moving myself forward now in the ways I need to.....and NOW......in this moment.......I am indeed FREE in all the ways I need to be in this season of life........FREE to not have life's burdens and heaviness keep me back, and hinder where I am headed.......the truth of the situation is written on the wall, and it is time to move past it in a real way......so again I feel a bit like I am soaring above the ocean with the sunshine shining down on me......helping me understand that freedom is indeed not free.......there is always a price to pay.....that is true.....but sometimes that price is worth it.....worth the freedom that comes to the forefront, and the peace that is found beyond that freedom.......peace to live your life in a healthy way....not allowing circumstances to chip away at that.....to be true to you, and what you need, and want in this life......moving past the things that are not in line with that.....and it is curious the lack of freedom we give ourselves and one another......keeping ourselves tethered to things that are not for us, that are not good for us, for all sorts of reasons......and I believe now that love should be free.....it should feel free......you should be free in your love of another person, and in the love you show for yourself each and every day.....I will never take for granted the freedom I have found in this chapter of my life, and relish in all of its gifts.....allowing me to make a way for myself into the new year, and find what lessons and gifts await;-)
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