The only thing we have to fear is indeed fear itself.....I have learned that many times in my life....anticipating something with a gripping feeling landing in my stomach, and then when it arrived its power receded......slipped away into the abyss, not to be seen again.....and I think it is good to be reminded of that fact.....truth is the world is a dangerous place, no question about it, and there are many dangers lurking about and if we think of them all we can drive ourself insane.....and for many of us the danger we have lived in these past few years was the one coming bearing COVID.....and it looming above all of us every minute.....and I don't say that as trivial thing, or diminish the danger it brings, and has brought to so many.....all the lives lost.....heartbreaking....truly and I have a healthy respect for it....... and it has been a formidable force in the world....I say that in terms of when it actually arrives, its power recedes.....I have no idea what the next week holds....it will be crucial as to the trajectory of this force in our lives....but I will say that I feel more peaceful in this moment, while COVID is in my home than I ever did in the beginning of the pandemic, trying to outrun this invisible looming force all the time......and that is such an important notion to hold onto, when life gets scary, to remember that it is the fear of the unknown that messes with us.....not the reality......because once you know....you do.....whatever you have to do to find your way to the other side.......I feared my marriage ending......crumbling.....because of the unknown.....and here I am doing......not living in fear of that any longer.....because it arrived and its power slipped away.......my goal in this life is to conquer fear in my life fully......I have come SUCH A LONG WAY.....there is not much I still fear in this life, after being faced with so many of them in my lifetime.....but every once in awhile I let it come in and it is foolish......there truly is nothing to fear......truly.....whatever comes we persist and endure in this life......and our spirit is the one thing that no circumstance, or no person can ever take from us.......not ever.......we get to decide what we do in the face of our fears when they come to visit....and in those decisions our power conquers the fear.......the last year of my life has required a level of bravery that has rivaled every other event in my life....it has required me to look fear in its eyes over and over and stare it down and dare to push back on it.......and when I choose bravery, and faith over fear I win.....no matter what it is I am facing.....because it rights my heart and soul and allows me to endure whatever it is that is challenging me.......I have had to be really brave before in my life, many times.....but I normally had somebody by my side to try and be brave too.....this year I learned I can be brave all by myself.....and sometimes if the fear won't let up, you do indeed have to do it afraid, until the fear subsides.......I remember my first snow blowing day....opening the garage and seeing all the snow......and feeling like I may shovel because I was afraid to use the blower without my dad standing right there......and it was a moment of debate in my mind.....and the snow was probably nearly 8 inches or more.....and I actually considered shoveling all of it versus facing my fear......and then a switch flipped and my brave stepped forward and was like we got this girl:) And we did......but it is in those moments that we decide how we show up......who we are.....what we are made of....and nothing can take that from us......and that is where our freedom from fear lies......in how we face them:)
jperuso
Comments