So I am not loving my circumstance at the moment.....I would be lying if I said it wasn't poking me some......Mads came down with Covid yesterday.....so that will ensure I am out of work the rest of the week and it is stressful......it is my biggest mama stress....the working mom, sick kid schtick........it challenges me every time....and there is nothing to be done.....Covid is one of those things that you can't really get somebody to watch your kid when they are sick.....I am luckily still feeling fine, but Mads was up a lot in the night with congestion.....Gabe is a MUCH better patient than she is lol;-) He is used to it all and she is healthy most of the time, so when she gets sick she becomes indignant lol;) So yesterday found me productive, I handled much of the phone calling and paperwork I promised myself I would......and it felt good.....and I have more to do today and some things to problem solve....and I will work toward doing that......but the energy for sure this week feels a little overwhelming and crushing to me.....I am wondering if it is full moon driven.....the energy feeling particularly intense?? I certainly feel that my awareness of energy in a truer sense helps me some....helping me recognize the energy that comes, when it feels heavy.....when it feels amazing.....and everything in between....and this week feels heavy....I have a lot of stressors congregating all together.....laying right on top of me, so I will breathe.....and exhale a little longer.....the magic of breathing.....it really is so powerful.....stopping to take a breath......I spent many years of my life, holding my breath......bracing myself for the next blow.....and I do not do that anymore.....I can feel the difference in my body and my chest.....exercise and meditation has taught me to breathe.......and so the only choice I have is to work on my mindset in all of this....I cannot help that I have to miss work, so lamenting and feeling annoyed about it isn't helpful.......or stressing about future days without pay, all of it.....it just is....my kids need me here to help them get better, and that is what I will do.....my boss is understanding, which is also a blessing.....my team is helping assemble materials for the lesson plans I am writing from afar....so there it is....all I need to ride this wave.....and in the meantime I will tackle some stuff around here, that will help me feel less trapped in it all.....and tackle some more tasks that I have put off for a little bit....I always marvel at that part of me....I am a person that leans toward being proactive....but there are certain things that shut me down and procrastination steps forward....lol;) SO I am gonna muscle past it, and do the things I need to.....and just cozy in with my kids.....enjoying our time even though it is not ideal, and be grateful I feel good and I will continue to keep on keeping on;-)
jperuso
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