Every single thing.....and maybe nothing (not one single thing) matters......kinda crazy to think of......I have written of how I have come to understand the art of surrender.....and harness my faith in all things......and be aware of the divine dance that occurs in all our lives.....learning that our lives are important.....every single one.....every moment.....every interaction......every event or circumstance......but as there is with most things there is another side of the coin.....it also means some stuff doesn't matter as much.....it is in our feelings and our perspective of something, or a situation that gives it meaning.....life.....and if we become the observer of our life some, and kinda hang back......everything and nothing steps forward......I was talking to a friend and realizing that the solidifying of my faith.....and my newer understanding of astrology, and other things I have been learning about helps me live in a way that is more free......really free.......not being subject to second guessing or what ifs.....immediately switching to the default of acceptance, and understanding that whatever occurred is what should be......no mistakes.....no overthinking......just freedom to live in the moment and trust it.....and in sitting back some and observing what has come and gone, and to think of what is coming it allows for more joy......being free to just live......really live......that is my goal in the day to day....and what I want for my children......Obviously they need to be guided and mothered, do not misunderstand;-) but I want them to feel free to be themselves, and honor their truth, and their journey......because I think what happens, without us meaning to, as parents, we stifle things in our kids due to our own traumas, fears, and anxieties, and so many things......we place things in them that they need to work hard to get rid of in adulthood......I guess I am trying to catch myself before that happens as much as I can.......wondering how this chapter will translate to my daughter.....what she will remember about this part of her life.....and her mother.....and what we may talk about someday.......it is curious to me.....trying my best to be a little more mindful of it all.....not making a big deal about things......things that don't need to be.....taking the heat out of them.....and living in a way that marvels at the journey and embraces the everything moments....and some of the nothing ones;-) I hope I am explaining it well lol:) Mads asked me the other day if I believe in magic.....and I said of course, and she said she didn't....but turns out she was talking about literal magic.....like magician magic,:) and then she said I do believe though mom, that there is magic in every day.....and in life..... and hearing her say that made me feel I am doing something right:) I want her to see the magic in a moment.....a tree......a stream......a waterfall.....the ocean.......a sunrise.....a sunset.....a smile.....a bird in a tree.......all of it.......I mean if you think of an insignificant seeming moment in your life.....just one......those are what become a catalyst to something huge in our lives.....a chance meeting.....a spoken word.....a small gesture......"right place right time" stuff......a small circumstance.....setting off a chain of events.....here is an example......I am the one that got my ex the job he had when he met his girlfriend.......and it was small thing....my being in a position of knowing somebody that had this job available, and passing it to him.....and I never once felt as if I should not have gotten him that job, if it would have changed our outcome, or any of it.....because.......that simple action created the ones that happened after......the catalyst.......and that is what I am referring to. The only thing we can do is trust the things that come intuitively or otherwise......and live free.....I am committed to living this half of my life with wonder in my eyes.....and sparkle in my soul........choosing to see this life as a gift, and living all of the everything and nothing moments......and not attaching to them so much, just marveling at them and seeing where they lead.......I am interested in the stories I see unfold.....in my own life and others.......and look forward to watching the twists and turns;-) Life is a helluva ride:)
jperuso
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