I did the online summit yesterday.....and it was exciting, and it felt REALLY good.....the crazy part is we have a finite amount of time....15 minutes to speak....and I never write a speech.....I connect to my heart and my truth and let it rip:)....and I spoke to the exact amount of time I needed to to be done right on time:)....and wrapped it up the way I wanted to........ and I wish I could take credit for that.....but I chalk it up to the divine magic that has found my story.....the magic that puts me right where I belong, with the exact thing I need at any given point.....and this was no exception.....and here is the thing....there is a fine line between remaining 'stuck" in a story.....or having it be a part of your life in a way that drives your mission.....I never want anybody to believe, or think that because I write this blog every day still or because I tell my story in the world, or that I even mention it all at all, nearly 4 years later, that I am stuck in the past or stuck in it in any way......I truly am not......and really I cannot control what others think, and that is OK, I fully have accepted that....they are not me:) But I need to say that.....this story is a part of me no doubt......and will be likely for the rest of my life...........but it doesn't define my life......it was just the catalyst, the vehicle.....the portal if you will to move my life in the direction that it was supposed to be.....and I think what makes me "high" in it all, is the deep feeling that it is EXACTLY what I am supposed to do.....when I am teaching I feel that too.....that little voice.....saying THIS is it.....THIS is for you.....and coaching, writing, and speaking now does the same for me......it is all meant for me......I know that deeply.....and so in the spirit of that, I did not worry whether or not the words would find me.......I just leaned in and trusted it all....and it all worked.....the woman who got me involved in it, a woman who gets paid a great deal to speak on stages all over the world, and the woman that spoke before me, texted me last night to tell me that I did a great job and thanked me for sharing my story....and that felt like something too:).....I admire her and she is doing all of the things I want to be doing and will be doing someday too:) And her support of me is a gift too.....a wonderful mentor......and EVERY single time my story leaves my lips or my heart, whether it be by spoken or written word.....it frees another part of me...heals me, and it ignited a fire in me again yesterday to head toward some of my goals in the short term....I realize I need to take chances, and take leaps, and be a little braver and bolder, if I want to move my mission to the scale that I want.....to get to that lakeside retreat center....sitting on that dock, dipping my toes in the water and realizing I have realized my dream:) And I feel it so deeply inside of me....I saw this woman, the me in the future in this story, feeling her so deeply early on........ and I locked eyes with her and walked my way to meet her.....and I know she has more evolving and changing to do....to be the woman that owns that center and serves those women and children.....and I am here for it.....here for every bit of the evolution! :)
jperuso
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