Don't waste my time........

Time becomes more valuable as we age doesn't it? When you are young you feel like you have all this time to waste.....to just give away, and that it is renewable somehow, or maybe not renewable but perhaps it feels endless....but it just isn't......and through my life's experiences it has been shown to me that it is an important commodity, and not one to frivolously waste, or allow others to waste it either.....I believe it is what finally resonated with my ex, and helped him to walk out the door when he decided that was what he wanted.....my saying to him that I did not want him to waste my time anymore, and either he was in and working on us, or please leave me be......that was in the aftermath of the discovery of his affair continuing the second time.....and I meant that.....I told him that I liked my life, that it was precious to me, and I don't want it to be wasted on things that are not real.....and as I sit here this morning I feel the same......don't waste my time.....I have grace to give to things, some space, some room, but when things start to become depleting of our time and energy, the only power we have in that is to remove it......I believe I wasted some time in my first relationship of 10 years with a person that did not deserve that much of my time, not even close....... and certainly in my marriage there were years it would be nice to have back....and perhaps in other places in my life too.....and I guess "wasting" time is something hard to quantify......because I also know that every single thing I have ever done.....every moment has led me here, and if we change those things, or think had we just???? Then it diminshes that some.....the journey..... and living in regret....which I don't do much of either.....I believe it plays out as it should......no matter what or how it feels it may have gone if I had just??? And I guess I don't say that to say that I would have done anything differently in those postions persay.....BUT......I do indeed understand the importance of time now in my life, in a way I have not always fully understood.....and I am only interested in giving my time and energy to those things that give to me in return.....things that fill me up....pour as I pour, ........touch my soul......light it up.......nourish me.....and my well being.....and I am holding a hard line on the things that don't.....not willing to waste any more years of my life giving energy to the void......and it feels good to be in a position to be able to discern how I use my time now....not willing to keep it up for grabs, and let it be wasted endlessly as time marches on......maybe it happens as you come up on 50 and your halfway mark;-) that you realize how valuable it all is.....I stopped in a store to grab something that I needed last night on the way home, and Led Zeppelin "Stairway to Heaven" was on, and I was bopping around some, and singing quietly to myself, enjoying the moment as I waited, and this man was looking at me, kind of marveling at me, maybe at my spirit to be happy on a week day after work lol:) Or maybe he thought I was crazy lol:) He seemed kinda grumpy initially, and worn out some, but ended up smiling at me as I headed out, telling me to have a good night.....and THAT is what I am chasing in this life........staying AWAKE and ALIVE....wherever I am.....no more autopilot ever again.....because it is the autopilot that causes us to be lax about our time....lulls us into the wasting of it.....letting it roll on......months flying by and then years..........I am committed to being protective of my peace and time as I journey.....fiercely protecting both and not allowing anything to remain that is not respectful of those things too! We are all worth that....Also living with INTENTION in my heart.......a direction and effort, and creating the life I want to be living in.....and I have said this so often, this IS OUR LIFE.....RIGHT now.....on a normal Thursday morning.....not when this happens, or that happens, or how about when that happens.....no RIGHT NOW! So we all better get to the business of LIVING, shall we:-) Make it a magical day everybody! :)