I got curious about something yesterday.....as I was shoveling.....wondering what statistics would say about how people tackle chore life in a second marriage, after having lived on your own for some time? I really don't mind shoveling .....and I did not in my old life either....but I just didn't do it very much? And somehow through our patterns growing up and gender roles, most outside stuff was for him to tackle, and inside was for me.....and there were times I helped shovel before we had a snowblower but never mowing, never leaf blowing, and I did not shovel often......and as I was yesterday it was curious to me.....I was reveling in the quiet and stillness that is found after a snow storm.....nothing quite like it......just a quiet that settles over everything, allowing you to think.......your mind to get really clear.......without distractions......and so it made me wonder some about it.......and wonder what would happen moving forward if I ever met somebody to share my life with.......I know that I would not wear those roles again......not a chance......??? Hard to imagine surrendering any of it truthfully, now that all of these things have become mine to do......and then I began to fantasize about it being a team effort.....finding somebody that has run an entire household sans a woman, and understands the magnitude of it all.......and knows that it requires a team effort fully, on all front.......my ex and I made a good team.....but often the divide and conquer kind.......not the side by side kind......and I imagined a man I would be shoveling WITH......laughing and playing and talking as we worked......finding fun and partnership in the mundane.....and it occurred to me that that is what I am seeking.....a true friend......a partner in it all........somebody to grocery shop with and mow the lawn with......and everything in between......I don't ever want to have this task is yours, and this one is mine etc........and I get why it happens, especially when you are just starting out......and it works to some degree......and if I did a study I am sure there are couples that are pleased fully with their division of labor.......but for me.....now......after I have lived the way I have for two years.........I want more.......need more.......want a I cook you do dishes kinda vibe.......and then it made me chuckle some......my list of wants, needs, desires, and must haves, growing daily;-) It will take some fella to fit the bill;-)......but isn't that OK.....OK to know what you want, and what you don't? Trusting that the universe and God conspires for your greatest good and will deliver what is for your best interest, and an instrument for your growth every day.......so as I shoveled I pondered all of this and felt blessed to be strong and healthy and able.......and enjoyed listening to my kids laugh and play in the snow, sleigh riding:) They helped clean off my car too.....and I reveled in the stillness.........creating my perfect man as I worked lol;-)
jperuso
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