Demons.............

We all carry them........they come from different parts of our lives........and live in us and make up part of the fabric of who we are........and when they are poked by somebody or something it is in our reaction where we find our true power over them.........where our healing happens..........those demons don't need to hinder us........don't need to negatively affect our lives.......If.........if we are brave enough to do the work.........the work that it requires to let them rest..........to have them find a way to coexist in our best selves..........but we must do the work if that is to be.........and it is often difficult and painful work..........exorcising those demons and wrestling with them, and winning over their power so we can be whole........and I think that that dynamic played out often in my marriage.......there was something about my existence that irritated his demons.......that made him look too hard at himself....... that stood in the truth........and in being led to do so time and time again it created an unwillingness to want to go there........a resistance to face what was within and battle those demons so goodness and light could prevail........he could not always handle taking that hard of a look at himself.........and I was always willing to fight mine........to give my demons audience and try like hell to put them to rest..........so that they didn't influence whatever current reality I was residing in..........I know that my personality can be too up front and too honest and too bold for some people........making them uncomfortable......small talk and fake conversation isn't one of my strong suits, and I can only tolerate it for a little bit and then I feel like I need to get real with somebody.......like really talk about what they are feeling and thinking.........and some people want to stay in the land of small talk or gossip forever.........happy to talk about things that don't matter.......or about other people..........I tend to shy away from those conversations these days.......have little energy for any of that.....I want to know what makes somebody tick.......what makes them happy......what makes them sad......what they hold in their hearts........what scars they carry in their day to day........who they REALLY are..........that is what I am interested in........so being that transparent........that honest..........that clear.........irritates some other's demons and their desire to hide........to not touch those demons if they can help it......in an effort to keep them settled and hidden away.........and I think the only way we make peace with those parts of ourselves is to poke at those demons.......or have them poked by the people we surround ourselves with and do the hard work of standing in that irritation and handling it well.........not allowing the demons to swallow us or run us...... we have the opportunity to run them.........and to heal them, soften them, help them find peace..........if we are brave.........if we are strong........but most of all if we are aware........any time a part of me is poked or pricked by something or someone now, I immediately recognize it as an unhealed spot......a demon.......waiting to find its peace........to find its way into the fabric of my soul to reside there in harmony with all the other parts of me.......and I try to be conscious of that, and nurture that space,.........hear what it has to say..........and try to help it find its way to rest.......not sure I will ever run out of spaces to nurture and care for.......to listen to......but I feel like at least if I am awake........aware that they exist........that is half the battle........half the battle between good and evil.......and I plan on always choosing good.........no matter what........every single day.........