SO I wrote a blog early on about the other woman......what I used to think of her......how my opinion had changed over time, and my views on it all.......I would say that they have shifted again.....no question her role in all of this was a large one.....hugely disrespectful of a family and a life.......of marital boundaries, of all of it.......and I believe that there are universal consequences for such actions......that those things don't just dissipate or come without consequences that are far reaching.........and nothing about what she has done is taken lightly......by myself or anybody else.........but she did not act alone by any stretch......my husband was even more accountable than her in the destruction of our family.......so as I sit here I don't blame her in the ways people may expect........I feel there were reasons this path chose her......allowed her soul to do what she has done.......and again we are all on our own journey.....but the more time that goes on and the more space that is created in between......I feel more and more sure that really their souls are more aligned than ours were anymore......perhaps there was a growing taking place inside of me that was stretching me, calling to me, and pulling me away from him. And in that space he didn't feel connected to me and my heart in the ways he once did, started to not recognize the path I was on...... and in her he found a more comfortable spot......a place to be the things he wants to be in this world.....a place that feels easier.......and in that space he created for them.......her soul clearly recognized him too......understood what it was in him that drew them together......so when I see them or think of them I have come around to the fact that they are way more suited for each other than he and I could ever be at this point......we are not traveling the same path at all.....when I dropped his hand on this journey........gracefully stepping away from what was no longer mine........my path accelerated and went into a completely DIFFERENT direction.......another trajectory all together.....and as much as it pains me to feel the distance between us......distance that is growing every single day.......it is that distance that represents my growth......my change.....my healing......all the things I needed to put between us to ensure that there is no way back.....not ever........and I believe we attract what is aligned with us......we also lose people in our lives that are no longer aligned with the places we are headed.......I am not sure the other woman has taken any accountability for what she has done.......it is likely that hasn't happened..........and maybe it never will.........but I believe the results of her actions are coming to find her whether she wants them to or not.........but that part is no longer much of my business anymore........ what I do know is that I am getting past the part of fixating on her role in the demise of my family of four and the life I loved.......and I am moving into acceptance of that as well......and there are even some days I want to thank her........thank her for getting in the middle of my marriage......of destroying it to the point of no return.......because in her destruction she allowed me to find my peace.........
jperuso
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