Can we ever really know???

I have been up since 3 this morning and still kinda in shock......was up late last night.....one of my teacher friends called last night to break the news about another teacher friend .....a retired one.....one I had worked with for 10 plus years, on my same team.....teaching fourth grade across the hall.....she was found the other night with her husband, with gunshot wounds on their deck.....and they are saying it was a domestic situation....no danger to the public.....and I am heartbroken.....it is devastating..........and the details and investigation is pending, and I don't want to jump to conclusions or write misinformation.....but what I do know....about her....is that I have not met many people so in love with living.....she loved her life, and loved her children and grandbabies fiercely.....the grandbaby count growing and growing as she began enjoying her retirement some years back.....I was glad to have been given the opportunity to give a speech at her retirement party, having worked with her for so long....and it all just makes me wonder and begs the question, do we ever really know our spouse......? Or anybody.....? What they are capable of when things get real.....I remember that being the biggest part of my story too and still is.......learning what a person you trusted implicitly is really capable of.....when the truth is scattered beneath the light of day, and you can't look away, and there it is......and for me I had known my ex for 20 years and was shocked to my core.....and still am most days......so for my friend, if she were still here, I am certain she would be shocked too....to her core.....we all never know what goes on behind closed doors.....never......life is different, but still......this is shocking on so many levels......and it hurts my heart for her so deeply.....knowing how much she loved her life, and took so much pride in her life, and then the end arrives with such darkness and sadness attached.....so it will be a few days before the truth, the full truth sees the light of day, and our Bushkill family will be shell shocked and mourning her loss.....no question........There had been a get together when I was in the OBX, so it has been a bit since I had seen her.....but I received a lovely text last week in response to one of my blogs.....she shared such sweet sentiment about how she felt about me and my journey, and said such kind and supportive stuff.....and that was our goodbye.....without even realizing we were saying it.....you never know what life holds for you......you just don't.......and I hope I am wrong and you can really know somebody.....trust them....,love them for the long haul.....see all of their nooks and crannies.....but I am skeptical some......humans are masterful at hiding......so I am not sure.......but what I am sure of is that the loss of her will be felt by her friends and family for a long time.....and she will be missed by her Bushkill family......and I am sending love, and light, and prayers to her boys and their families.....rest easy my friend.....I am so sorry, just so so sorry:(