I have had several situations, all back to back, that have required me to check my boundaries and make sure they are where they should be......and this may be the first time in my life...in this chapter I mean........ that I am using boundaries in my life with other people.......in a real sense.......I am a reformed "people pleaser"......a reformed "allowing people to do all sorts of things they shouldn't have" and I have always sought to keep them in my life, or reconcile it somehow.......and I am no longer doing that.....when the writing is clear, and on the wall, I now owe it to myself to walk away.....or draw my line in the sand......and it isn't easy for me......STILL.......I am getting better at it some, but it still feels uncomfortable......feels like I am not being as kind or as "nice" as I should be because I am placing a boundary with somebody that is hurting me??? Sounds crazy but it is true.....our self limiting beliefs, and old patterns sometimes defy logic, despite our best efforts...........but I know that isn't true......my boundary in this chapter is my peace.....and if a person comes to disturb that, or doesn't treat me well, or with love, kindness, and respect, and starts to mess with that peace.....well then I need to move along....I am clear on that......I have allowed countless folks to rob me of my peace in this life, and I just won't now......I earned that peace from the flames of what has happened to me......clawing my way out of the wreckage and fire, with that peace clenched in my hand, as my reward for doing so....for fighting SO hard.....and I won't let it get swallowed up in some other person's chaos and inner turmoil........and that is not to say I do not have tons of grace to give.....room to breathe......a place for my people to not be perfect.....a long fuse.....because I still possess all of that and more......but if I become aware that it is the point of no return.....or I see certain things, that I see much more clearly now than I ever did.....then therein lies my line......and I am proud of the growth I have found in that.....knowing that a person's treatment of me, is a reflection of them.....and deciding what treatment is now acceptable and what isn't........and I have had to exercise it more often as of late, and I am curious about that.....the why behind that.....however since I trust so deeply in all of it, and the cosmic and divine influence in my life, I know that it all must be for the best, and for the greater good of my journey......despite how it has felt in the short term.....this has been a rough couple of weeks.....but also SO blessed.....the equal parts so clear to me....and that is curious too.....such breakthroughs and movement toward the things I want....while simultaneously battling some big stuff with some folks that have been so close to me.....so as it all shakes out......and I move forward.....I continue to grow in setting boundaries.....and working on making them stronger.....working on owning them more, and becoming comfortable in the discomfort......and wishing them well as I move along.....and feeling gratitude for the role they played while they did...understanding their journey is taking them other places too....so yes boundaries up is my new policy in this part of my life.....and working at it every day. Using my strength and will to not return me to the places I have worked so hard to flee from.....not in friendships or otherwise, not ever again.......Amen
jperuso
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