It is kind of hard for me to put into words or share how grateful I am for the blessings that have come out of my heartache.......it was certainly not what I was expecting initially.....when I was in the throes of despair and sadness and couldn't see my way out......or my way at all.....and the blessings keep coming......they are literally everywhere as I look and it just makes me feel so so grateful.......I have started a blog......which has blessed my life and the lives of those that it touches and it just makes me feel so humble and grateful.....I have gotten into arguably the best shape and health of my life at 45.....which was quite unexpected and again just so so grateful.......for the first time in my life I feel totally comfortable in my skin in all ways.......it feels amazing:) I have found hiking again, and my kids love it as much as I do, and it is such an amazing thing for us to share......in the quiet of the woods our souls are soothed among the trees for sure.......I have found new friends in this and made connections that are so significant to my life now I can't remember what it was like without them there.....I have found ME......and been able to listen to my voice and my heart in a way that I never have before.......I feel like maybe when you are young you feel the pull of yourself, your voice, your soul, all of it but it is the fear of what others think that inhibits it and makes you question yourself.....I have no such issue now......I am committed to my authentic me no matter who gets it or doesn't.......I have been braver in my life in all the ways, in the last 8 months, than I ever have been......I have learned who my true friends are and that can be painful but a blessing nonetheless......I have some amazing friends and family that have supported me in this journey in the ways that really matter in this life, and I am just so grateful......I have learned a ton of life lessons........relationship lessons......just lessons and more lessons.............they abound in this and come at me fast and furiously as my clarity takes hold....and they are all so valuable.....some I have been struggling to learn all my life and this experience was the one that solidified it for me......and some are a work in progress........I have learned that I can rely on myself in ways I had never imagined I could........like really rely on me......I always knew I could to some degree.....but without a partner in life I wasn't so sure......now I am.......I am rock solid......for me, for my kids, for all of it............I have received the blessing of meeting hard things and doing them each and every day.......even on the days I don't want to.....and when I don't think I can, or it gets too intense I have established a treasure trove of resources to fall back on that help me do the next thing I have to......I have been able to provide for my kids and give them the life that I want them to have, even in his absence.....I am so grateful for that......it is not a blessing lost on me.......I have found peace......true peace in my life for the first time, maybe ever in my life...... REAL PEACE........and INTENTION.......and MINDFULNESS......and a FIRE for LIVING.......one that I feel I was missing.....I am excited to see how the story unfolds......what chapters await me as I travel this path.......in the wake of the worst thing that has ever happened to me.....and make no mistake it was the worst thing I have ever gone through.......and there were times I felt it may break me...... the most amazing blessings were waiting for me when the dust settled.......and the flames went out.......and grateful doesn't even begin to describe how I feel about that:)
jperuso
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