I dropped the kids at their dad's girlfriend's house last night, where their dad lives, and Gabe is starting with a runny nose.....he has had an uncanny ability of getting sick on Halloween, all of his life :( And I am praying that somehow that won't be the case this year......we have much fun to have, and we missed out last year due to them both being too sick.....I told their dad's girlfriend if he really starts to get sick, he is welcome to come home and to keep me posted.....he hasn't been able to see his dad on the weekend for awhile due to their being sick, so he was excited to go and get to see him......so fingers crossed....and there are activities he wants to do this weekend in his teen life, that their dad's girlfriend and I navigated.....and so we shall see......and due to the communication strain between my ex and I, I have accepted communicating with her to have some communication to be had out of necessity......and I have accepted it and appreciated being able to do so......but it all strikes me sometimes.....the complications of "being divorced"......a place we never plan on being when we stand on an altar with somebody......and pledge our lives......or stand in a garden, or at the justice of the peace, or wherever we decide to make that commitment.....and despite it being as common as it is....I am not sure the shock of getting here is ever less......at least not for me......in my case the initial shock rocked me to the core, and I grew into acceptance of my new life and embracing the freedom and gifts found beyond the rubble.....but I guess what has stepped forward for me lately is how challenging it can be......a couple of my clients are going through the getting a divorce part......and listening to their stories brings it into focus.....it is so challenging.....truly.....and sometimes I don't think the people around us divorced folks fully understand it.....so many layers.....so many things popping up....just so many....and sometimes....I feel lucky, when I sit with friends and they are talking about the pain in the neck stuff their husbands do, and I think wow I am glad I don't have to deal with those things anymore....and that I don't have a husband lol;-) and other times I hear somebody talking about something wonderful their spouse did, or just the fact that they have a person that cares when they get home....or how their day was.....or any of it.....truly cares about it.....and it touches my heart and makes the being divorced part so stark.....and maybe you just can't know or understand until you are?? I think that is true of it all.....you don't know until you know.....and I think that is what is powerful for my coaching clients when we work on stuff....and they have told me as much.....is that I KNOW.....I KNOW how they feel....the challenges they have....and I have deep compassion for it all.....and that feels like something, something I should share and give away......I have another consultation this morning with a potential client.....and am hopeful to walk in whatever story they are walking in too, for whatever they need......and as for me, my goal is forever working toward harnessing the power that lies in my mindset, and having it help me accept, and embrace "being divorced"....and help others do the same.....amen....Happy Saturday y'all!
jperuso
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