This weekend finds me doing some of my favorite things....I am going to meet up with my astrology gal and peek at some stuff....and today's energy is a lovely one.....it is one of the more special days energetically of the year.....so I hope today finds you with some lovely moments, and some unexpected gifts:) Then a little TJ Maxx with a gift card from my mama:)........a pedicure, because my feet still have some winter vibes lol.....and then I am headed to my third date.....involving a picnic, and getting to know each other better:).....and so far the pace at which it is all moving is perfect for me.....just moving along in its own time and space.....it will be two months since our first date at the end of this month......and we are taking our time in the pace of it all.....honoring the space we occupied before we decided to date.....and it has been a lovely addition to my flow.....just the right amount:) And stuff is cropping up as I live in the contrast.....of the new and old....but not in the ways I expected.....I am not feeling that damage in me from the past.....which feels kind of amazing.....I know that it will come up....the level of trauma I endured won't just vanish......but I am pleasantly surprised so far.....about how I feel.....and I think that is in part because of his level of consideration and understanding.....being considered, as I have mentioned is SO new for me.....maybe never....in all of my life have I truly felt considered.....by a man.....maybe in fleeting moments initially, and then it vanished into the ways I could serve them.....and support them.....etc.....and well......you can see how that ends.....the givers and the takers.....like I have said before.....but it seems my new friend and I are both givers.....I pour you pour.....and nobody feels depleted or empty....and I guess as I type this what occurs to me, is the balance he and I have found....seeking to evenly give to one another.....and I hope it is indicative of how the journey will remain for however long our journey is meant to take place:) It feels super healing to my nervous system........And it occurred to me that the imbalance that occurs when the giving and taking is not equal is where HUGE problems arise.....it creates a franticness at first in the giver......feeling if they would just give more the other person will too.....and then it creates resentment, anger, and hurt.......and a feeling of being taken advantage of.....and well.....that just doesn't work.....nobody wants to feel like a doormat.....or that their efforts are not being appreciated......especially when those efforts come from such a sweet and special part of them.....so I have learned amid the rest.....that you cannot give enough to a taker for them to give back.....and that I only want the pouring kinds of people in my life now......and the ones that pour instinctively......not because they are told to......but because it is their desire.....and this chapter indeed feels new....and exciting....and like more growth is to be found here.....it feels very much that his presence in my life, at least for now.....is to help me explore the dating part of my life.... and the opening up of myself some.....and awakening some parts of myself that have been walled off....and while I wish I could say I do not have walls up.....that would be a lie......but I am willing to be more open, and his energy is helping in that......SO here's to some astrology fun....picnics and dates, and seizing the energy of the day! Trusting the journey.......being brave.....seizing the energy of this weekend! Get out there and enjoy y'all:)
jperuso
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