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jperuso

All that I can do.....truly.......

I got inspired the last few days by a song I came across.....it is a powerful one, one that gives me full body goosebumps and makes me cry when I hear it.....and before I get into it let's talk about goosebumps from music, the best right??? I have read about it and not everybody gets them, I know right?? Only about 50% of folks get them! I assumed that every human gets touched that way by a song now and again, but it turns out that is not the case.....but I love it so much when it happens.....so if you are a goosebump person, count yourself lucky;-) so this song does that to me, but all over my body, not just my neck and arms...and the song speaks to the power of prayer and praying over a situation in the hopes of finding change....a situation that maybe feels hopeless....and it is a beautiful song.....and it makes me think of my ex.....I have prayed for him throughout this journey, when it speaks to my heart to do so for many reasons.....and my prayers are sincere, and they are all that I can do at this point.....trying to communicate in a real sense for now is futile.....so I pray to speak to his heart in another way....and yesterday I was listening to it in my workout room, and my kids were upstairs, and the tears were just rolling down my face......and it occurred to me that perhaps I need to become more intentional about my praying for him.....do it more often......regularly......not force it, that isn't what I am saying.....but have my praying be a source of healing for not only him but me too.....and the song speaks to praying for somebody's healing in their sorrow and grief and pain.....and isn't that all we can do right? We can support people so far but when there are barriers in place, we are left with a simple but powerful act.....the act of speaking to God on behalf of somebody, and offering up a prayer and wish to the Universe for review.....and so the feeling came to me to do it more often.....and with more intention.....and sometimes when I have something important to share with him via text I have prayed to have God open his heart so he can hear what I have to say.....really hear it in the spirit in which I am expressing it......I think being more intentional in this way will help me too, in many ways.....and perhaps move some of the mountains that exist between us.....so we can co parent in a more functional way....in the ways we need to as we move along......and it certainly cannot hurt right? But my heart was most definitely moved by the holy spirit or whatever you like to call it in a real way yesterday as I sat in my workout room listening.....I felt it........and it became clear to do this......so I will......will keep you all posted:) Happy Saturday! Enjoy the day! :)

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