There has been an ongoing situation in my life this past year........one that is integral part of my story and my journey.....but one I have felt protective about, not wanting to write about it in my blog.....until now......early on in my journey when I was swimming in pain, I was gifted by God with a friend.......a friend who turned into a best friend.......somebody I had known for a long time but had lost touch with......they reached out to me, having also gone through a situation like mine and wanting to offer support to me........he and I became fast friends......our bond cemented nearly instantly......and I was able to share all the parts of my heart that needed to be heard with him....and he understood them all.........we laughed many times, swapped endless war stories, and became a fixture in each other's day to day lives......texting, funny memes, jokes, sharing our lives and offering each other support..... His friendship to me at the time it materialized was most definitely a divine appointment........helping me navigate the waters I was sailing in.......along the way months after our friendship began, some feelings developed on both sides......deep ones.......and since that time both of us have been trying to figure out what to do with them......there is great physical distance involved, distance that prevented us from ever meeting up....... and other complications that have arisen as we have traveled along.........and now it seems that the time has come for us to part ways for good......without any hard feelings, quite the contrary.......with sadness and heartache on both our parts......but also fondness and gratitude always......and it is so complicated truly.......but my point in writing this......is to share that having had him in my life.......in this season of my life, has been an absolute gift to me......one that makes me realize I am a blessed human......and that even though we want people that touch our lives in these ways to be able to stay forever.......sometimes that isn't possible.....and sometimes we need to be brave enough to walk on and let go.......knowing that we will always fondly remember them and the footprint they left in our lives.....always know they were meant to leave those footprints in our lives......knowing that some people just are not meant to be a part of our whole story, despite their role being a powerful one......and accepting that when it is time.......we need to walk on.........and that is the place I am........I know that it is time for our story to end.......and maybe not forever......but definitely for now, no question.......and I am brave enough to do that........and even though it hurts my heart.....and I will miss him so much.......I am still at peace with being here......intuitively trusting what is meant for me, will always be meant for me.....and what isn't will fall away......every single time.......he has been a huge supporter of my blog, my journey, all of it.......and I want to thank him from the bottom of my heart for all he has been in this walk with me.......and how much support he has given me........I will always be so grateful........always.........and when I think of the first year after my husband left, he will be one of the people I will look back on with fondness, and love in my heart, for being willing to stand in the storm with me and help hold an umbrella over my head:)
jperuso
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