It is so true we never know what comes our way.....blessings and challenges on repeat.....got a call yesterday that I have to go back to take more pictures for my mammogram.....still not sure why, will speak to my doc today......and from what I understand it is fairly common......and they did not schedule me till the begin of Oct so I am assuming it isn't urgent???....but the fact is I don't know.....and I guess in my astrological chart it has some indication my journey could be a little about health this next year......but could just be self care and getting healthier too.......all subject to interpretation.....no absolutes or truth......and while I know to never get too far ahead of myself......it brings up a lot of feelings.......luckily not fear being one of them......because I have finally learned to trust the journey......trust myself.......trust God.......and be open to the good, the bad, the ugly......all of it...... and embracing it and knowing it all has the ability to transform and leave beauty in its wake......no matter how it looks when it arrives......but it for sure brings up heavy feelings in terms of being a single mom and on my own.....and not knowing what lies ahead.....and if I am being honest I am not up for another battle with high stakes......not that I don't physically feel up for it, and maybe even mentally....but maybe I mean emotionally.......or at all.....so as I said I am not planning on getting too far ahead of myself because truthfully it could be nothing and that is what I am betting on;-) but I felt it was important to explore some of the feelings......they are similar to when I had Covid and was here caring for my kids and feeling fear before I got it at the unknowns.....and taking care of them by myself and what if I got really sick?? But then when it was here I knew I would do whatever I needed to do to just that.....so whatever comes my way will be no different.....so my plan today is to get some more information surrounding my mammogram......and figuring out what the concern is.....and not letting it occupy too much space......continuing to meditate.....center myself, exercise......I am spending some time with friends tonight and just putting all my trust in my journey and in God......it is actually a powerful place to be seated in......I learned to finally embrace that trust, on the other side of my divorce........ and now it is being tested.....to gut check myself, and see if I really am in the place I think I am.......and I truly am.......it is well with my soul each and every day no matter what comes and if the metal rattles a little;-) Because everything is always working out for me indeed.....:)
jperuso
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