A point of ATTRACTION.....

I have had an image with me this week.....you know those movies that portray old kingdoms and epic battles......like the "Gladiator" or "Braveheart"......and the camera is placed behind some leader's head, and they are catching a shot of some battle ensuing below.......clashing and gnarling of characters and swords........It resonated with me this week out of the blue for two reasons....one is that I am very much in an internal battle between letting go of old and making room for new......in my evolution, in my life, in all of it..and I can feel the internal battle having its say.....and I am lucky that new Jenn has the upper hand;-)......she is no nonsense most of the time these days lol;-) But it is still a battle between spaces, and places of me that want their say.....my mind knowing better always, and my intuition......and I need to keep following that as I extinguish more of the older parts of me that keep me stuck......and in places I don't belong.......and places that don't leave room for me to move forward, and evolve in the ways I need to.....the other reason that image resonates with me is I believe so fiercely in the quality of our lives.....what we see when we "look out" over our own kingdom of life, IS a DIRECT reflection of us......the work we have done, or not......the time we have taken to take care of ourselves, or not, the time we take to nurture our relationships and love, or not, and maybe more simply the time we put toward living the life we really want to.....and I am so clear about that in this chapter.....All of my adult decades of my life have changed my life......dramatically.....not one smooth one lol:) All had defining moments, and big hurdles to overcome......my 20s came with a heavy panic and anxiety disorder, and the loss of my sister in a car accident........30s came bearing my special needs son, my ex having cancer, my own cancer scare, my mom having breast cancer, and so much loss in my life, heartbreaking ones......and my 40s arrived to a pandemic and my divorce........so........it has been an exciting couple a decades lol:) And all of them have kept me growing, and showing me the way.....and I don't highlight them like that to lament......at all, I do not feel sorry for me.......I am a blessed human.......I just express all of that to say that I find life precious, and feel our time and energy is precious, and I am no longer willing to put my energy in places where it is wasted......in any way shape or form.....these are the best years of my life in some ways.....they really feel that way now.......and this might be in fact my favorite part of my life so far and wow.....that is powerful.....:) And I am keenly aware of the passage of time, and coming up quickly on my 49th birthday, and I am not wasting any time getting to the business of chasing what I want for myself in this part of my life......and living the way I want to with who I want to....and all of those decades came bearing challenging times, well they were simply preparing me for where I am headed......and my trust is in the fact that they are smoother decades, lined with light and love and purpose, and I needed to be slowly broken wide open, until the final blow of my ex leaving happened to really understand the things I have now.......that fear is a liar......faith is paramount......and that happiness and peace are an inside job, and you can have both no matter what happens in our lives......and self love is where it is at:) Taking care of yourself fiercely pays off in dividends........A student told me yesterday that I am like Joy from Inside Out......and I was like REALLY??? I feel like I am harping on your guys all of the time about what you should be doing......and she said nah, you are even smiley when you are upset, and she smiled at me and I returned it:) And it felt good to hear that, considering how stressful teaching can be sometimes lol:) I seek to be Joy, feel it, share it, spread it as much as I am able! And recognizing and BEING a point of attraction in our own lives is the way......we are attracting the stuff that reflects our inner world, and repelling the stuff that doesn't each and every day:) Always a worthwhile endeavor! Happy Thursday:)