I have touched on this before......but it keeps coming to the forefront, and has me examining it more closely as I travel my new life.....the good news is I forever see the good in people.....and the bad news is the same;-) I seek to understand where somebody is coming from before I get my feels all up in it......and I ALWAYS put myself in other's shoes.....and sometimes I wonder about that.......because most people don't.......they come from their viewpoint only......a selfish lens.......and don't care to know what another person is feeling.....or what motivated their actions, or what they have said or done......I believe most people don't intend to hurt others.....I really do......I believe most of what somebody does is a result of all the parts of their lives....and the quality of the fabric of their lives.....all those memes about not taking what others do personally exist for a reason......most of what people do isn't about you at all.....and I have this uncanny ability to understand so much of it all and give grace.....even when my ex had his affair.....I sought to understand.....to even empathize and find compassion for his human condition......one that was slowly destroying mine.....I can't help it.....it is how I am wired.....and most times it serves me well......until it doesn't.....because the other universal truth is we teach people how to treat us.......we do.....and when you are an understanding, loving, and empathetic soul......people take advantage of you in ways that don't feel good......betting on your understanding.....if somebody is high maintenance and a relative pain in the ass. people respond accordingly right lol:) but when you are sorta chill.....and understanding of other's plights, often above your own it gets tricky......and the truth is I love this part of me......I love that that is one of my first inclinations.....to try and feel for another human......even if they anger me......or upset me......or horrify me........even then......to try and get inside and figure out what it is that is motivating their actions.....and then feeling deep empathy for the pain that has caused it....because that is the truth too.....hurt people are the only ones that hurt other people.......there has to be hurt and conflict inside to lash out......I have experienced that myself.....feeling so much hurt bubble up inside of me, and having it exit as rage and anger......so strongly that it scared me.....that was in the midst of it all....and battling the affair.......and so I know it happens......so I guess I write about all of this to try and figure out how I have boundaries for how I am treated in this life......alongside my human condition and my propensity to see the best in everybody.......the ultimate potential of their soul......the brightest parts......the sparkly depth of another human......in contrast to what they show me sometimes.......it is tricky.....as I meet new people and navigate new relationships......or old ones......I seek to find folks that have my same affliction:) Choosing to see what I see.....to understand what I do......to put themselves in my shoes, as much as I do theirs........
jperuso
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