Pain.......

I did some coaching with somebody yesterday and they too endured the pain I did in the end of their marriage.......and it feels great to be able to hold space for that kind of pain and be able to help women overcome and accomplish whatever they wish.....but it made me really think......pain is a brilliant motivator.....a beautiful catalyst.....whether it is physical or emotional.....we seek to right ourselves as humans.....to find our way back to status quo.....to balance ourselves......because being in pain is wildly uncomfortable....and moving ourselves back to "right," is what we seek to do.....but there is something about pain that transcends.....it forces us to move beyond any limits we had previously thought we had.....and forces us to get "intimate" with ourselves......going deep inside to calm the pain.....and there were times I wanted to run from it.....wishing for respite, if only for a moment.....wishing for physical pain to replace the emotional pain.....there were times I stood in it and screamed back in its face, and fought through it with all of my might.....and other times I succumbed to it......allowing it to wash over me and do its thing......that transformative thing it does......most of what I have now.....and the life I get to live now......was borne under pain's cruel ways.....and as I listened to my client yesterday it most definitely occurred to me that we have a choice....always, as it often does......she is choosing to be transformed vs. destroyed......actively pursuing light and life beyond the explosion......using that pain to fuel her change......looking at the places where she wants to evolve and move beyond.......and the thing is I wonder often if that level of pain hadn't found me, if I could have stepped into who I was sent here to be.....and I don't think I could have.....the pain that finds us is divine......part of the symphony of our lives.....and the thing is is that pain is misunderstood and makes folks uncomfortable....the people around us wanting us to be back to "normal" too.....feeling uncomfortable when they see that pain expressed.....not fully understanding it......until.....well until they feel the same......and I think that is the power in the coaching I have been doing.....offering somebody a "I fully get it" kinda vibe.......and in turn helping me heal along the way too......taking that storm of pain and taking some of the heat out of it......settling it down.....removing some of its power........I had never been in that much pain....I often said that had the person next to me have known how much pain I was in, they would have been scared and wondering how I was still standing........our level of pain equal to our ability to love.....deep love equals deep pain........and it humbled me for sure.....just searing endless pain.....but then somehow that acute part ends......and you can begin to collect yourself, thinking again..... and then transformation steps forward.....like a cocoon of sorts......albeit a torturous one at times....but a cocoon nonetheless......and there are many things people in our lives can help us with......but pain is not really one of them....we sorta need to ride most of that out ourselves.....so as my coaching business builds I seek to help women transmute that pain, within their cocoon, and find the transformation that awaits the other side......while continually watching my pain fall away.......and finding purpose in my pain each and every day......each and every single one......