LOVE.......

I decided to write about love today in honor of Valentine's Day.....and maybe kinda curious what my take on all of it is......been awhile....... I write to understand myself better for sure..... .....I mean first and foremost love is magic.......in my opinion it is one of our most treasured earthly gifts.....the ability to look at somebody and feel that unspecified magic leap in our heart.....the invisible recognition that we indeed love one another......none of us have ever seen love, in terms of a tangible thing, it is hard to describe, we never took a love class, yet......we all know with certainty what it is when it arrives....magic right??? Unmistakable recognition......a feeling that is hard to describe, hard to mistake, and capable of having us soar to new heights, or be heartbroken in the deepest depths, and all of it in between......and how does it form between two people?? Like really? I mean the love we carry for our children is different, it sort of is like instant magic.......implanted in our hearts in some cosmic divine way.....the moment our eyes meet......and there it is......arriving alongside their birth.......and the love we hold for our family members, like our souls recognize our people, our parents......our siblings...and everyone in between....the love we share for our friends.....when we meet more of our people, not by blood, but we feel such endearment toward them......knowing they will live in our hearts.....and then there is romantic love......perhaps the most mystical of them all.....the invisible process that takes place between two hearts......the space between two people that becomes one......magnetically cemented, heart to heart, a force that runs between and holds people to one another......pinging all those delicious hormones inside of us.....like fireworks, sunsets, rainbows, days at the beach, cozy snowy days, smiles, sunshine, warmth, nature, light, buoyancy, all of it.......and we don't get to decide when love finds us, or force it......you can't make somebody love you......or remain loving you......if they don't want to......or make yourself love another if you don't want to........that is a fact......but you also can't stop yourself from loving who you do.....it is perhaps one of the most powerful forces there is in this life.....and sort of a mystery.....the how and the why......but one of the most magnificent things we can experience in this life, no question......and I suppose I have saved, and learned about the love I feel is one of the best of all, for last......I heard the song "The Greatest Love of All" the other day, and at the risk of sounding hokey, judge away;-) I felt it.....like really felt it......I got what Whitney was putting down;-) .....she was on to something, and I never paid any attention to that song before, not in a real sense.....and until you really find a way to love yourself, the expression of being told to do it, doesn't make sense.....it just doesn't.....it seems like BS and some kind of hokey hippity nonsense......or something that gets easily dismissed in the context of yeah I love myself, whatever......but do you really???? I thought I did before all this.....I really did........decent self esteem, happy mostly, etc etc......but in the clarity that has arrived, I realized that I did not show myself love in the day to day......I didn't take care of myself, my stress levels, my body, my mind, my everything.....I said really unkind things to myself in my head.....often......I gave myself no grace, no room to be human, no nothing.....just ridiculous standards and pressure endlessly, while not feeding my soul what it needed, I allowed myself to be treated poorly by people in my life in the spirit of peace keeping......and now.........I have realized that love can be intimate, really intimate, within our own hearts and soul......that I can have a love affair of the ages....... with myself;-) that I can get to know myself like I would a lover, that I can take care of myself like somebody I fiercely love, that I can take myself on adventures, and that is just the tip of the iceberg.....so I must concur with Whitney.....learning to love yourself.... or myself:) .....it is the greatest love of all:) Happy Valentine's Day y'all! Hope you are fiercely loved, not just today but every day, and if not hope you are fiercely loving yourself, you are more than worth it:)