JUMP!!!............

Jump is a funny word isn't it?? ;-) It means a few different things, but this definition is most in line with what is on my heart today......"a sudden involuntary movement caused by shock or surprise" ......I made a decision yesterday.....one that has not been easy to make, and one I have wrestled with endlessly.....and to me it feels like jumping into free fall......and sometimes we are called to jump right? Even if it is scary, even if it is uncertain, even if we don't want to.....because I truly have come to believe that jumping leads us to the places we are meant to be......it is the staying stuck that doesn't.....when we are most apprehensive and unsure, we need to summon our brave and choose ourselves and our bliss......I have come to deeply know myself......spending the last 2.5 years listening to all parts of myself.....and I trust myself implicitly.......no hesitation......and when something speaks to my heart and soul so clearly, I have come to learn that I need to listen up.......and I spent lots of years resisting that.....not listening to myself, not jumping when I should.....staying stuck.....hands bleeding......hanging onto what I should not be......and old habits die hard......it is a daily commitment for me and intention, to grow beyond the places that have once kept me stuck......the truth is there are things I want in my life very clearly......things I see and feel so deeply.......things that speak to my heart and soul like I have never experienced......and not making this decision was standing in my way......like a giant wall.....and I am hopeful that this jump, while scary.....and jangly.....and wildly difficult......will bring those things that I want, and need, and desire to me.......in the best way possible.......because of my bravery in jumping........that is my prayer.......and I trust it all.....I so do.....but what became a apparent was that the final layer of trust is found in the free fall......arms out.......screaming the whole way;-) wind in my hair.....a gleam in my eye........and what will come of this free fall is yet to be seen.......but the jumping off left some old pain and suffering behind.....and for that I am grateful......so sometimes the right decision is not the easy one......maybe lots of times........and choosing yourself over other things is not easy either.....at least for some people.......and most definitely for me........but for me, in my new life, it is worth it....... to choose what is in line with my heart and my soul, and in honoring how I want to show up in the world, and in an attempt to find what I seek in this life.......and not settle for less......not ever......I am learning:) Sometimes you need to jump to see the strength of something in your life, and see if it is meant to be there once and for all...... I am grateful for my willingness to grow......to be uncomfortable....a lot lol:) and to commit to go all in, and live a life I am crazy about! And that requires being discerning about what I allow, and I am learning that too......so yea.......I jumped.......it is one of the more challenging things I have ever done, and I know I need to stick with it, and I am praying that the jump brings me what I seek in this life, finally....... and that the experience of it helps me grow in the ways I need to.......Amen:)